Finally, some REAL news!
Today, it is being reported by ONN that the CBC, an institution of Canadian television, has been bought and sold to Rupert Murdoch’s Newscorp, and will be incorporated into the Fox News media empire. 
Photo: Canadian Taxpayers Federation
The announcement, still sending shockwaves throughout the country, was heartfelt. “We have been on the air for nearly 90 years, but all good things must come to an end. As Winnie the pooh said, ‘We didn't realize we were making memories. We just knew we were having fun.’ And we hope you had fun too. As Woody from Toy Story said, ‘So Long Partner.’ And as the Terminator said in the Terminator, ‘I will be back.’” Such inspiring words of hope in these challenging times.
As CBC HQ closed down, its former employees looked dejected. “I almost can’t believe it” said Susan Wilson, 49, “I’ve worked here for 20 years promoting Canadian television! All have gone to America, just like our music talent, Celine Dion, Justin Bieber, The Weeknd, and who could forgot Drake, who definitely didn’t do…” The interview cut before anything [REDACTED] could be said. However, beside all the long faces, one elderly man was ecstatic. His name, John Barron, or John Miller depending on how he was feeling, was ecstatic with his interesting haircut. “Crazy Crooked CBC President thought that CBC wouldn’t be sold, he was wrong like dog, wasn’t he folks? He was wrong bigly! Now, it's a new golden age for the CBC, I can’t wait to put out specials about our greatest Canadian, Tru…I mean Tommy! Tommy Douglas!
Hockey Night in Canada. Photo: Sportsnet
The purchase of CBC by an American company represents an end of something beautiful. No more hockey night in Canada, Saturday morning cartoons, and public broadcasting for all Canadians. But one must hope that, in these ashes, a phoenix will rise to bring hope to Canadians once again. Follow us here on Instagram for more breaking news like this, like the news that Canadian Maple Syrup increases your life expectancy by 100%. Aging cure??
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